Travelling Teacher

Originally printed in Good Teacher Magazine: Term 2, 2007, page 26 – 29

Ayah Sofia

Dear Editor
How quickly the last months have flown past. Ever since my epic school trip through the Louvre almost a year ago I have been like one of those aimless brown leaves being blown from one corner of the playground to another.

However just to bring you up to speed on the news. After that excellent trip to the Louvre I was asked to appear before the Board and told in a very Gallic way that although I was an excellent teacher the exuberance I brought to my subjects was a little flamboyant for the school. I was also informed that the fact that I had been Frogmarched (pun intended) out of the Louvre by a regiment of the foreign legion was bad for the reputation of the school and would I consider another posting say to somewhere like say Turkey.

So as I hadn’t been to Turkey and because I could see the writing on the wall so to speak I agreed to be transferred to Capadoccia.

I raced home to my garret looking over the square that was beside the road that ran close to the boulevard that was almost on the banks of the Seine and looked up in my glossy atlas where in Turkey Capadoccia was.

Bosphorus Bridge

Obviously because of my great attributes as a teacher and as a reward the Board had insisted that I leave immediately and take a week to get to my new school. (No  pressure) I think that they wanted to send over all of my inspection reports to ensure that my new school fully appreciated the sensational teacher they were about to acquire.

I hopped on the earliest flight I could get and the cheapest, as money was a little short and winged my merry way to Istanbul. Turkey’s gateway to the West and East. Did you know that the bridge that spans the Bosphorus is the official transition point between Europe and Asia. If you go to the centre of the bridge you can stand with one foot in Asia and the other in Europe.

If you ever get the chance to go to Istanbul –take it. What an amazing city.

Ayah Sofia Interior

I was lucky to be staying in a small hotel about 300 metres from Ayah Sofya. It was very quaint and amazingly convenient to all of the attractions in the old city.

Its amazing the hospitality of the Turkish people. The hotel had provided, unbeknownst to me in the next room, a young lady from NZ who was also looking to extend her horizons and was happy to share the cost of a car to Cappadocia.

She persuaded me to venture out immediately to see Ayah Sofia. For those of you who don’t know, Ayah Sofia is one of the largest churches ever built in Christendom and is named after “holy wisdom” (Sancta Sophia). (Although St Peters in Rome is larger it wasn’t built until 1506, a thousand years later). Built in 537 by Emperor Justinian it was turned into a Mosque by Mehmet 11 when he conquered the City on the 29th May 1453. Ataturk turned it into a museum in 1935. One of the wonderful things about it is that because the Ottomans don’t allow art that shows God they plastered over all of the ceiling mosaics in the church. This preserved them and the plaster has now been removed to show this wonderful art in its original colours.

We were very lucky to meet a young university student (read brother of a cousin who owns the carpet shop next door) who offered to show us through the church. It is absolutely stunning in its beauty and among other items we were shown was the handprint of Christ the Child on one of the building stones. We found this hard to believe but after going through the museum in the Topkapi Palace where amongst other things they had: the staff of Moses; the cooking pot of Abraham; the arm (encased in gold armour but with a small window cut out to show the bones) of St John the Baptist; and one of the gates of the city of Babylon, you start to wonder “what if”.

Istanbul is populated by about 12 million carpet salesman and one or two other people. On every corner is a carpet shop with the relatives all out on the sidewalk dying to show you their extensive range, which, they tell you, is so much better than those cheats down the road. You are their best friend and will always be so. Just come and look, there is no need to buy. Yea right! Be aware that if you accept the offer of a cup of apple tea and then buy carpets from another shop you immediately become persona non grata

In the evening we went out for a meal in the Taksin Maydani district, where all the trendy young Turks hang out.

Fantastic experience – the streets were packed and noisy, hustle and bustle everywhere as the call to prayer rang out. After walking through the streets, we turned into a covered avenue full of restaurants, tables out in the lanes, waiters trying to tempt us in from all sides. With the dull roar of voices, music, laughter; faces looming from either side, it was just magical. Once we’d chosen a restaurant, we had a traditional mezze – a selection of hot and cold appetizers accompanied by copious amounts of bread and water. We tried some mashed aubergine, mint yoghurt, a kind of salsa dish, and some pickled mushrooms, followed up with some fried goats cheese in breadcrumbs, absolutely fantastic and cheap as. Along with the Turkish wine it was a night to remember. I topped off the experience for my new friend from NZ by doing a big twirl as I put my leather jacket back on and subtly knocked all the glasses off the neighbouring table.

Next day we took in some of Istanbul’s cultural delights starting with the Blue Mosque. Very strict dress code especially for ladies, Basilica Cistern with long sleeves, long skirts, scarves to cover their heads, and – at the sign outside the entrance, that said remove your shoes – we removed our shoes… we were then told off for taking off our shoes outside where it was dirty! Just can’t win!! The mosque was impressive, but not as good as Aya Sofia.

Basilica Cistern

Next was the Basilica Cistern, which was hard to find. We didn’t realise it was underground and it turned out to be a large reservoir built in Roman times (isn’t everything!) You go through a small doorway down some stairs and whacko the goose you’re in a huge underground cavern, filled with rows of pillars supporting arched, brick ceilings. A boardwalk led through the large room, over water filled with strange looking fish, and water dripping from above. In a far corner, two stone images of Medusa had been used to prop up two columns, strangely one was upside-down, and the other on its side…apparently no one knows why!!

Our last day we spent in the Grand Bazaar. If you can imagine a site bigger than the whole of Eden Park with shops about the size of a normal bathroom, selling every imaginable item you could think of then that is the Grand Bazaar.

We both bought leather jackets here and were amazed at the prices. Obviously bargaining is an art form and is expected. We normally started at about 1/3 of the asking  price and would normally agree at about ½ of the price.

Having decided to move on, my new friend and I caught a boat to the other side of the Bosphorus and stopped at Yalova just long enough to hire a car and leave.

Our next stop (other than a brief one at Troy, where we saw the original but rather modern looking wooden horse, amazing what they can do with wood preservative these days) was Behramkale, the closest point to Greece from Turkey.

Behramkale was set at the bottom of a very steep windy cobbled road which when rained upon becomes so slippery that
a You can’t get back up.
b If you do manage to get halfway up, the road is nicely tilted so the car and the occupants slide over the edge of the 400-foot cliff and into the Mediterranean.

The Turkish army had a small garrison there and it was a little disconcerting to see so many soldiers with submachine guns ready to repel the Grecian Army like they have been doing for thousands of years.

Behramkale called Assos in ancient times was built about 800 BC. Aristotle lived here from 348 to 345 BC. It was here that I wrote my soon to be published pamphlet on how to change a tyre in rural Turkey. The necessary ingredients are:-

Ingredients Checklist: for tyre changing in rural Turkey

• A town at the bottom of a steep slippery cobbled road made impassable by the rain.
  • Check
• A small car backed into a parking space at the front of the hotel.
  • Check
• Said Parking space to be sloping downwards from left to right.
  • Check
• Puncture in rear right wheel on downward side of car.
  • Check
• Nearest garage 300km away assuming they can get down aforementioned road.
  • Check
• Right side of car jacked up, with car tilted onto jack because of slope.
  • Check
• Dent in side of car where jack is stopping car from toppling over.
  • Check
• Left wheel of car off the ground.
  • Check
• 20 helpful young macho male Turks all with a different method to resolve problem and all determined that their solution is to be the one that we choose.
  • Check
• One NZ male teacher determined to show these Turks that although we didn’t get far at Gallipoli by god we would prevail here.
  • Check
• One long 100mm diameter steel pipe found by a helpful Turk on instruction from Young NZ female.
  • Check
• One large piece of rock to use as a fulcrum and found by NZ male teacher.
  • Check
• Greek mathematician Archimedes theory on leverage which had to be explained to young Turks which states “Give me a lever and a place to stand on, and I can move the earth.”
  • Check
• 20 young Turks pushing down on lever and lifting back of car.
  • Check
• One very nervous NZ teacher changing wheel extremely quickly and hoping that young Turks would not let go of lever.
  • Check
• 4 bottles of Ouzo to help ease inflammation in throats from too much shouting.
  • Check

Selcuk

After the excitement of the puncture we retired into the hotel where we noticed that the porters were playing Backgammon. Stupidly I accepted the offer to play a game. The Turks play very fast and once the dice are thrown they immediately remove them off the board. So fast that unless you are watching very carefully you won’t see what was thrown and you then need to rely on what they tell you. Surprisingly they usually seemed to get exactly the right dice. I ended up having won one game and lost one. A bit like Gallipoli I suppose. Stalemate.

When the rain cleared and the road dried out we headed off to our next stop on our way to Cappadocia.

Selcuk

This was the town of Selcuk, close to the ancient town of Ephesus. Apart from the Roman ruins the main claim to fame here is the supposed tomb of St John. For those of you Philistines who don’t know the Bible, Jesus from the cross said to St John and referring to the Virgin Mary “This is your Mother” and to the Virgin Mary referring to St John “This is your Son”. The story goes that shortly after the crucifixion St John and Mary travelled to Ephesus where they lived out their last days and died there. Up in the hills overlooking Ephesus is the supposed house where Mary ascended to heaven. This is now converted into a Church with its necessary wall of taps all pouring out holy water for the faithful who arrive by the busload. Best to go in the late afternoon.

The ruins at Ephesus are truly remarkable, especially so because it is here that it was discovered that the Romans had an underground Sewerage system, which ran from the communal toilets away from the city. It also had a brothel with signs set in the stone streets pointing out the way.

Selcuk

Our last stop before we got to Cappadocia was a small town called Olimpus. Renowned throughout backpackerdom for its isolation, no shops carpet and otherwise, cheap accommodation and the presence of the old wacky backy, its a young holidaymakers dream come true. We had only stopped there because of the presence of the Chimaeras.

These are gas plumes that spring from solid rock and ignite spontaneously as they hit the air. Nobody has really explained where the gas comes from or why it ignites but it was a great place to spend the night and explore.

The rooms we were allocated were absolutely wonderful. Not. The sheets were damp and smelt of mildew, as did the rest of the room. The restaurant was cheap, the food lousy with the only bright spot being the bar which was well stocked. Not a great place to stay, but hey, it was cheap. We were lucky to get a Kurd to drive us to the Chimaeras and he did so with all the gusto of a man without a care in the world. They have a speed limit in Turkey. The signs have F/O which I suppose means flat out because that’s how they drive. It was nice to be driving down these narrow winding roads on the left side until I realised that we were meant to be on the other side. Thank God there were no other cars coming.

Goreme

We stopped about five minutes walk from the mountain and when we got to the area where the flames were, we all sat down, opened up a couple of beers and had a sing song. It was hard to get the rest of the group to comprehend that NZ and Aus were different countries so we compromised and sang Waltzing Matilda which most of the group had heard of

Our trip to Goreme in Cappadocia began in earnest the following morning when we left at daybreak looking forward to a long drive with a change of climate including the expectation of snow ahead. This is because Cappadocia is a bit like the volcanic plateau with an altitude higher than it is on the coast thus being a lot colder.

Goreme

By lunchtime we were driving through high mountain passes with snow on the side of the road. We had time to stop and build a snowman before we continued on our lonely trek towards what I was hoping would be my next step up in my teaching Career.

Onwards and upwards I thought to myself as we swept around the bend and there ahead of us were the strange looking houses that make up Cappadocia. I saw the small school on the outskirts of town and they even had a herd of tiny looking sheep in a large caged area just to the side. They looked a bit like cats but why would they cage cats? Anyway we had arrived in one piece and I was looking forward to this new career move with great expectations.

See you next time and keep on talking.

Yours,
The Travelling Teacher

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